Let me narrate a few incidents from the state police’s crime files:
In January this year, a 19-year-old was allegedly sexually assaulted in a Delhi hotel. Later, the police investigation found out that the teenager just wanted her boyfriend’s attention.
On August 25, four miscreants allegedly robbed a ???-year-old girl in Nongthymmai. Later, police found out that the girl lied, fearing she would be castigated at home for lending Rs 300 to her friend.
In the same month, a complaint was lodged about two persons allegedly injecting a minor girl with a mysterious fluid. The complaint turned out to be fabricated.
Two weeks ago, a four-year-old child’s body was found in Nongrah. Four days later, a 13-year-old boy, who was the victim’s neighbour, was held in connection with the case. The boy previously lied to the police and relatives.
Now, what made these children do what they did? Why did they have to concoct stories or lodge false complaints? Were they taking the focus off the truth? If so, then what is the truth?
These are questions which remain unanswered in these cases. But these are questions that must be answered if we have to understand what is happening to our children.
The human mind is a complex den of actions. Inside our tiny heads, deep neural networks play weird games that sometimes raise several questions. For instance, in the Nongrah case, was the 13-year-old boy the actual culprit? If so, then what made him commit the crime? Is he himself a victim of a crime or abuse?
As we mourn the death of the toddler, we must also consider the fact that the accused is a minor whose actions must have stemmed from a deeper trauma. Unless the root cause is found out, it will be a difficult task to reform him in the long run.
Now let us consider the other three cases. The girls used their imagination to create fictional situations where they were the victims. The pattern of behaviour is the same.
The girl who feigned robbery wanted to escape scolding at home. But how bad could parents’ scolding be? Or, would it have been serious in her case? Then, in that case, the parents or guardians must be investigated to find out whether the girl was facing abuse or trauma at home.
In the other two cases, it was attention-seeking.
Attention-seeking is a general term and it can be the effect of various causes, such as Loneliness, Low self-esteem, Personality disorder and Anxiety or insecurity. Probably, these girls wanted people to recognise their needs, or they are experiencing abuse, or a lack of connection, or trauma. The reasons can be rooted in any crises.
When we talk about attention-seeking, we, who are not medical professionals or mental health professionals, often tend to simplify the term. Mental health professionals use specific terms for specific behaviours.
The story is more complex. What can be seen as ‘attention-seeking’ could be a cry for help, stemming from deep psychological needs.
So, why might these behaviours be increasing or, perhaps more accurately, becoming more visible? The sources point to several underlying causes.
Broken families, inattentive parents at home, apathetic teachers in school, abusive relatives, and the list of causes can go on. But in a society where the sense of community is so strong, this crisis should not have occurred. Had there been a proper number of counsellors in every private and government school, then distressed children would have had the option to share the burden that is gnawing them inside.
Psychotherapy can help individuals uncover the motivations behind their actions and develop healthier ways to cope and relate to others.
And to provide that help, the government must work closely with community members at all levels and recruit enough counsellors in schools and colleges so that the problem can be nipped in the bud. We must understand that if we let our children grow up with darkness inside them today, then our tomorrow will be drowned in the same darkness.
